Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Blog Hop, or Terror in my Soul


You may notice even though I frequently refer to writing on this blog, I have not actually posted much writing. That is because it's far more pleasant to muse idly on the beauteous creations of others than to expose your own tender work to the knives of the internet comment board.

However, I have decided this is a cowardly stance. In support of my awesome and amazing writing friends, Lillie McFerrin, Daniel Swensen, Angie Richmond and Angela Goff, I am entering my tiny, humble piece-ling into their Super Cool Blog Hop Contest. In 300 words or less, write a piece of flash fiction, poetry or song using the photo prompt below. You can go here for the details. Below is my wee entry. *covers eyes* Okay, now you can read it.


Hour of Light

She kept walking. The Wood wasn’t bright enough this time of night, so she thought - luminosity - and it steadily grew brighter. Time and again, she had told the trees to grow in straight lines, but they never listened. The dark trunks jutted from the ground in irregular clusters, silhouetted in the gloom. She trailed her hand over the flowertops, gently dotting dewed petals with her fingertips.  As she brushed past them, they sang along with the wind in a lonesome susurrus. She placed a finger to her lips and tasted the dew; it tasted of memories.

This was how she always walked in the Wood, towards the light. The starflowers grew so deep this time of year; they were already above her knee. Her bare feet grew cold as she squished through the grass, so she decided it was warmer than she thought. 
 
She took great breaths of the air, scented with dead and growing things. The sky was growing steadily lighter, for she knew it was the hour of light. Sometimes when she walked through the mist, she could not decide which way was forward and which was back. So she kept walking. Was there a time she had ever not walked in the Wood? She finally reached the hanging light bulb and reached up, up, up so carefully on her tippy-toes. She pulled the cord and the light went out.



35 comments:

  1. Ah! No reason to worry ever :)

    'it tasted of memories' is an awesome line! Great job. It had a poetic flow that really drew me in. I love it!!!

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    1. Yeah, I'm with Lillie, your worries are unjustified.

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    2. Thank you, Lillie! Your feedback is so appreciated. I'm sure my surge of nausea will pass ;)

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    3. "Scented with dead and growing things..." I can smell it...just as if I were there. Fantastic use of the senses!

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  2. Your writing suits your blog and typeface. It is, as Lillie says, poetic. Loved the point of view, loved the story. Really beautiful Anna.

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    1. Oh, I am blushing! Thanks Jo-Anne. I hope you'll enter the Blog Hop too!

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  3. I recently shared some of my own fiction on my blog as well, I know how nerve-wracking it can be. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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    1. Thank you, Daniel. Even though excellent writing (or lack of) always comes through in a blog entry, there is a peculiar vulnerability to fiction. I am rarely self-conscious (I act, for heaven's sake!), but my writing is a shy point.

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  4. I love the vision I had with that last line. Great job!

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  5. Oh, so lovely. Luminosity. Tasted of memories. Scented with dread. Up, up,up. Tippy-toes. I love it! :)

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  6. Thanks, Ruth! So glad you liked it. Tippy-toes is one of my favorite words. As is luminosity. Almost felt like cheating to use both ;)

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  7. Great poetry in your prose here. I especially liked the 'tasted like memories' line and I loved the details about her walking through the starflowers.

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    1. Thank you, Gwen! Tasted like memories seems to be a favorite, but it was one of those lines that just popped out without me even thinking about it. That's how it works sometimes, I suppose.

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  8. Never fear...you have the artist's touch...loved it!

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    1. Very gracious of you, Donna. I was terrified because I usually edit for weeks. I wrote this one in a single 23 minute word war, edited it and then thought, "Here we go" and clicked the button :)

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  9. Excellent use of the senses! The atmosphere you created drew me in right away. Mysterious endings rock! :)

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    1. Thanks so much, David. I always try to create worlds that I would like to visit. Mystery always calls to me.

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  10. What a beautiful piece of writing! :) I especially loved "She trailed her hand over the flowertops, gently dotting dewed petals with her fingertips."

    I could feel my fingers trailing along the starflowers, as well as my toes squishing through the grass! Excellent :)

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    1. Thanks Catherine! I read your entry this morning and it really stayed with me. This Blog Hop is a super way to connect with other writers. I appreciate your feedback :)

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  11. 'The starflowers grew so deep this time of year.' Lovely imagery, and a nice twist on the description!

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    1. I'm not even sure if starflowers are a real flower, but they sounded real to me in my writing brain, so I guess they are ;)

      Thanks for your kind words, Sif!

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  12. Absolutely breathtaking! Love your use of senses to give the story life and verve.

    Super

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    1. Thanks, Huntress. If I can see and hear and feel a scene, it doesn't "breathe" for me. So glad you enjoyed it!

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  13. I like this, I think it's open to a lot of interpretation. Also really like the writing style. Very mysterious.

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    1. So kind of you, Erin. I tried to allow the reader to bring their own interpretation to the story. Is it a dream? A vision? Real or unreal? *cue mysterious music* ;)

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  14. Beautifully done! Full of sensory imput & mystery...loved it!

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    1. I really appreciate your feedback, Louise. Thank you!

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  15. Okay, 'susurrus' is my new favorite word.

    This is so so so beautiful.I love your writing style too! I hope you post more. :)

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    1. Oh thank you McKenzie. I love the word 'susurrus' because it is so evocative. I like your writing too. Come back and see me anytime :)

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  16. I like it! Beautiful writing and a great atmosphere. I love the 'Up up up,' too. Great job! :)

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    1. So glad you made it to my blog! I certainly enjoy yours. Thanks for the nice comment! :)

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  17. Great imagery. I think you captured the mood very well. Great post - new follower :)

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    1. Thank you, Tasha! So honored to have you read my blog.

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  18. Very nice! Great imagery and tone. I even learned a new word: sussurus. :-)

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    1. One of my favorites! Sussurus just says what needs to be said ;)

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